My funny out of office auto-responder.

Hello,
I will be out of the office from 2/20 thru 3/8 – returning to my desk on 3/9.
If you have questions about life, ask Deep Thought.
If you have an emergency, dial 0118-911-881-911-119-7253. (yes, really)

If you wish to speak to an operator say ‘zero’. (In Bulgarian)
If you know the whereabouts of known terrorists, contact Jeff Dunham immediately.

If you know who shot J.R., contact the Dallas Police Department.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, call …. Chuck Norris
If he is busy counting to infinity for the third time then call  A-Team

Have fun,
Bogomil Shopov

P.S I have hacked one of the messages here, but mine is funnier.